I'm feeling much much much much much better now~~

Last week, I went to see the doctor. He asked me to go back for consultant occasionally so as to allow my back to recover fully. When the doctor checked my back, he kept on pressing here and there. It was seriously very very pain. 8 or 9 out of ten points.
I've finally finished consuming the super duper 'nice' medicine :):)
I don't know how to describe the taste of it.. Bitter?
I think the medicine does have some effect. Keke.
'Cos I went out yesterday.
Usually, when I go out maybe for band or coffee shop or other places, my back would definitely be aching. But, my back wasn't aching that badly yesterday. Heh.

Now, any suggestions on which course to choose? But even if you suggest, it would still end up nothing. Because I really do not know which course to choose. Not interested in any..

I actually forgotten that I bought sushi home yesterday..

I think it's getting worse day after day..



Slept at 1plus in the morning. Nice.
Dad asked me why am I eating so little.. He said I used to eat large amount..
He asked how can I survive for a day with just one bao (bun).

Since I have no appetite to eat, I'm having gastritis every now and then..
I'm hungry, but no appetite to eat.

I'm trying to think the positive side but I don't think I can.
All of a sudden, tears would start to form or my heart would be beating faster.

Maybe I should find someone to talk to.. Who??

Going to see doctor soon~

At times I'm feeling quite alright. But most of the time, I'm actually very scared and worried. What should I do to make me feel better? I do not want to have a heavy heart..

I am scared.
I am afraid.

I am also losing my appetite even though I may be hungry. I was eating and suddenly, I almost wanted to vomit out the food..

Hope I can feel much much more better.

I didn't realise that it has been 9 days since I last post..

I've been having backache since last week. I don't know if it is because of this that causes me to think a lot. Having backache causes me to think of my crooked spine.. Will I be paralysed or whatever? If I can turn back time, I seriously definitely would not want that incident/'accident' to happen.. My useless back is really giving me a lot of problems..
Not only thinking about my back, I think of many other matters.
My parents, money, house bills, part-time jobs, studies/course (if I could enter Poly), band, future..
Well, it is not that I want to think of all these.. It just keep coming to my mind.
I don't know why I would feel numbness in my legs.. Has it got to do with the backache I'm having? Just by moving a bit or to walk here to there, my back and legs would be in pain.. How great isn't it.
To prevent me from thinking all these especially when I was about to go to bed, I'll just watch tv.
I used to sleep at 8pm+ then 9plus, 10plus, 11plus and now, 12plus..
I used to wake up at 11am+, then 10plus and now, 8am+..

Why am I thinking all these??